Day one.

Today is the first day with no medication. I feel sleepy, but not overly so. I'm spending the day doing domestic things, like laundry and cleaning.

Today I would like to talk about the recent Psychology Today article refuting the statement made by Dr. Allen Frances about overdiagnosis of bipolar disorder. Dr. Frances' article mentions, since the inclusion of Bipolar II into the DSM-IV, that pharmacological companies have really been pushing their marketing campaign for anti-psychotics and mood stabilizers. He also speculates that this leads to more people being diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder.

Psychology Today goes on the state that the cases of overdiagnosis are lower than cases of under diagnosis. PT says that in a recent study the problem was with people NOT being diagnosed with
BPD.

For the full article, click here.

Have you ever felt like you were misdiagnosed? I remember when I was diagnosed and I didn't believe it.

Rallying a support group.

I have let this blog fall to the wayside after our first cycle which was unsuccessful. We are gearing up for cycle number two and I will update every day.

This is what the month of April looks like as a daily routine.

It's brutal and hormonal and lord blessed me with a patient husband because he is taking it all in stride. (I first typed taking it all in strife, haha)

Starting on friday, April 30th, 2010, I will stop taking my risperdal and trazadone. I worry that my taking medicine up until the day of the embryo transfer was harmful to getting the embryo implanting. I worry that the reason we didn't get pregnant last time was because of the medication. So I'm not going to take it this time.

The embryo transfer is still probably two weeks away as of Friday. I am anxious and fearful about stopping my medication. I plan to utilise meditation in this process. I will take a pill if things get too far out of control, but the plan is to do this completely unmedicated.

My husband and I have decided that we are ready to proceed.

I have what is called Diminished Ovarian Reserve (DOR), so we have chosen a girl to give us donor eggs. This is apparently the longest process EVER. The amount of legal paperwork we have acquired is simply astounding. The first company we wanted to use was a little more than vague about their process.

TDS(a) has their paperwork set up in such a way that there is almost zero protection for the Intended Parents. (IP) TDS sets up their paperwork in such a way that it protects THEM, the holding company, and no one else. It provides wording that the following scenario is absolutely plausible:
Fast forward ten years. Husband and I have our children a lovely set of twins, whom we have raised for 9 years. Out of the woodwork comes the egg donor, demanding parental rights. TDS has worded their contract in such a way that she is able to sue us for custody. Not only that, we have to pay ALL of her legal costs while she sues US for OUR children. But wait! There's more! During the process of her suing us, paying our own legal bills AND incurring the cost of her legal bills, guess what? SHE ... THE EGG DONOR ... is allowed to remain ENTIRELY ANONYMOUS. That's right, folks, we will never know her name. She could potentially come into our house and take our children and *poof* vanish into thin air. We would never know what happened to our children.

This is the scenario that TDS has left open for the donor.

So, after weighing the risks, we found another donor company called The Donor Solution. The Donor Solution *gasp* cares about what kind of person the allow to be a donor. They also word their contract in such a way that this woman will never have any rights to our child. (and the law backs it up!) We are very happy with them, and I am gad they came to us so highly recommended ... by a lawyer, too!

After wading through an inky mountain of paperwork, the likes of which would make War and Peace seem nothing more than a board book for kids, we are finally ready to proceed. I'm almost starting to get excited!

We have picked a donor, paid the deposits and signed the forms. Baby incoming!


Until next time, be good to one another.

Why I created this blog.

You are reading this blog because I wanted a place to lay out my feelings over the next two years. My husband and I have decided to get pregnant.

Why is this a big deal, you ask?

I have Bipolar I disorder with paranoid tendencies. I currently take Risperdal for this. Together, my husband and I have made the choice to stop taking my medicine.

Risperdal is a class C medication. Pregnancy Category C is given to medicines that have not been studied in pregnant humans, but do appear to cause harm to the fetus in animal studies. Also, medicines that have not been studied in any pregnant women or animals are automatically given a pregnancy Category C rating.

This blog will document the roller-coaster that is pregnancy, as well as the fears of what being off of my meds might do to me and to US.

Stayed tuned, this could be a bumpy ride.